Tim Han Success Insider: Self love is not selfish. 🙏✨
In a world that is conditionally laden, understanding the significance of self-love can be transformative. Often misconstrued as selfish, self-love is about acknowledging ourselves, our needs, and our worth. Akin to the flight safety instruction, “put on your oxygen mask before helping others,” self-love too demands that we care for ourselves first to enable us to care for others.
Let me share with you an anecdote that altered my perception forever. This episode involved my dear friend, who was also a participant in the LMA course, a personal development program I founded. She was juggling several roles in her life – a loving mother, a devoted wife, a dedicated professional – and in this mayhem, she barely found time or energy to cater to her needs. Her life was spiraling out of control, and she was on the brink of a burnout. It was a heart-wrenching sight.
Then, an enlightening phase transformed her existence. She discovered the LMA course and started embracing self-love. She started dedicating time to herself, answering her needs, prioritizing her happiness without feeling guilty. And this metamorphosis was not selfish. It was necessary. It was the oxygen mask that she needed to breathe better so she could help others around her more effectively. And believe me, it turned her life around.
This miraculous change sparked an important question, why do we wait until the tipping point to acknowledge our worth? The world will never cease to demand from us, and if we don't put ourselves first now, then when? Oscar Wilde opined, “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” And like any romance, self-love too requires effort, understanding, and time.
So, how do you cultivate self-love? Let me share some steps that have equipped me and my friend in our journey towards self-acceptance and love.
Firstly, acknowledge your needs without guilt. Whether it's solitude, a walk in the park, a spa day, or simply immersing in a good book, do it. Cherish these moments as they are not self-indulgent but self-restorative.
Secondly, emphasize positive self-talk. Veer away from the inner critic that often reprimands, discourages, and diminishes your self-worth. Instead, foster your inner cheerleader that acknowledges, motivates, and uplifts your spirit.
Next, embrace your imperfections. Remember, your flaws are testament to your journey, adding layers to your character. They make you human, relatable, genuine. Flaws are not a sign of weakness but an emblem of courage for tolerating, accepting, and loving yourself in entirety.
And importantly, establish boundaries. Learn to say ‘no,' not out of spite but out of self-love. It is okay to declutter your life of toxic influences, draining engagements, and self-deprecating habits. Your mental peace is paramount, and safeguarding it is indicative of self-love, not selfishness.
Each of these steps may seem challenging initially, like pushing the proverbial rock uphill. But remember, the view is stunning from the top, and the journey is worth every throb, every sweat, and every strain.
The beautifully flawed, Oprah Winfrey once shared, “I was once afraid of people saying, ‘Who does she think she is?' Now I have the courage to stand and say, ‘This is who I am.'” Self-love is just that, it's being courageous to appreciate and gratify yourself without the fear of judgment, guilt, or shame.
As humans, we are hardwired for empathy and love. But before we extend these emotions to others, we need to extend it to ourselves. As Tim Han, I have learned and observed that self-love isn't selfish. It's self-intensifying, self-fulfilling, and self-gratifying.
Isn't it time we valued ourselves? For remember, the world mirrors our self-value. Are you ready to embark on this gratifying journey of self-love? After all, you, my friend, are worth every ounce of love that you can muster and amplify.